two lovers

I think we were lovers, so you said
after all these three months I have been wondering what I meant to you
thank you dear, really
it means a lot to me

maybe we met at the wrong time
maybe we are too far away from each other to start a relationship
I don't know, there could be so many reasons
that's how life is like
sometimes we only can go with it instead of asking why
in fact, you saved me from myself
I didn't know until now that I wasn't ready for anything

I am happy that we can talk and make fun of each other still
maybe you will finally open yourself to me one day, I hope

a day like this

how come I can still remember exactly the day a year ago since I never keep a diary?
I was standing in the rain, waiting for the bus and texting you

the sky looks the same, grey and drizzling
I feel the same, blue and twisted

the only thing has been changed is us
which I hope the same but will never be the same

another girl

another sleepless night, I found another girl who suffered from the same pain like I do.
I couldn't agree more with what she wrote in her blog.
"I think I can never understand him. He always mysterised himself." she said.
I used to think the same way, somehow I started to see you clearly little by little.

unlike what you said about yourself, you actually are a person with jealousy and suspicion.
but you are just too proud to admit that.
most people have their burden from their family, their past.
but you just don't know how to let it go and learn to trust again.
you are so afraid of getting hurt, but that doesn't give you the right to hurt other people, including me.

I never want to hate those I used to love/like, even though they hurt me once.
I know I said we better be friends, but when I can truly see you just as a friend?

heeeeeello it's fish

fish, a name called only by you,
like a secret code exists between us.
everytime when you call me that,
it always brings me back to the time we had,
one of the very few moments I felt happy in that period.
I will never forget the birthday present you gave me in 2008.
you make me realise that some memories are beautiful and unforgettable
becasue they live with some impefection.
hope to see you soon someday bobble!

sigh.....

I am hurt, though I have been trying to pretend that I am alright.
everyday, every second, you are just like a virus, slipping into my head and damaging my mind.
rationally thinking over it, it's really not worth wasting my time mourning for you.
I just don't understand myself why I am so drawn to you.
even after I found you may not be as decent and honest as I thought you were.

I thought you were different from others.
I thought we were different from my past.
I thought I had repeated enough my mistakes.
yet still, it turns out to be another deja vu again.
I just followed my heart and tried to pursue my happiness.
(which is proved to be a dangerous behaviour!)
god knows for that, I was called a bitch sleeping around.
ha! sounds ironically familiar!

why oh why?
is it because you are just like most of men or my own problem?
am I really attracted to those with problems?
am I just too lonely that I take whoever comes around? (aaahhh....I hope not!)
do I really trust people way too easily?
I hope I can learn from my mistakes and never repeat it again.
but I start to fear this is my pattern, my trait of life. (damn! when did I become so passive!?)
god! I really need to pull myself out of all this shit!

超過一億萬次的想念

我想念我到達的那一晚要結束時 你把車停在家門口
我們在車裡接吻到無法停止 然後你說let me get you to the bed, ok?

我想念我坐在床邊跟你撒嬌說我口渴想要喝水
你彎下腰來親吻著我的額頭對我說yes, my princess

我想念每天早上你要去上班前
都會進到我的房間 給我一個吻跟我說你要出門了

我想念我每天早上五點半就被你洗澡的聲音吵醒
雖然很想睡 但是還是在你出門後撐著眼皮打開收音機準備聽你的聲音

我想念我陪你回你的公寓幫你搬家
搬完之後兩人擠在你那張超小的單人床上睡午覺

我想念你帶我去回教齋戒月的黃昏市集
然後你跟我提醒說我們等一下沒辦法牽手 就算我們不是回教徒也一樣

我想念七夕那天我等你下班回家等到在床上睡著
你回到家後第一件事情就是來房間找我 我拉著你躺下來對著在我懷裡的你說情人節快樂

我想念你生日那天我坐在你的腿上
我們一起窩在電腦前看著hangover然後兩個人大笑不已

原來我擁有很多對你甜蜜的回憶
雖然只有短短的十天

wait for you

Some of the hardest things are easy to achieve with patience

I'll wait for you until the heavens fall
I'll wait for you until the end of the world
I'll wait for you until I no longer breathe
I know that it's not impossible
I'll wait for you until you finish your fight
I'll wait for you until the timing is right
I'll wait for you until you knock on my door
Cuz right now it's feeling just like a movie yeah yeah...
Just like a movie

I know that this is hard for you
Want you to know that I'm feeling it too
It's taken some time but now I see everything
It's so clear to me I can't give up your love without dying baby
I'll wait until the sea is dry baby
How do we know what love is
Until it is free

You don't gotta do anything that you can't do
You don't gotta do anything in a hurry
You don't gotta do anything that you can't do
I know you're there you got me
You don't gotta do anything that you can't do
You don't gotta do anything in a hurry
You don't gotta do anything so don't worry
I trust you and I know you're there
I know you're there



I know you belong to me eventually

對話

K: 我相信啊，相愛的人，你有多想他，他就有多想你。

C: 喔，問題就來了。我根本不知道他有沒有像我喜歡他那樣喜歡我。

K: 你是傻瓜，你很有魅力的。所以啊，你要相信一件事情，你有多喜歡這個人，這個人就有多喜歡你。

C: 這種時候就相信秘密那本書說的好了。

K: 我不知道，但是我相信一件事情。當你真心地想要一樣的東西，整個宇宙都會聯合起來幫你的忙。如果你是真心的，這世界都會幫你的忙。

K: 更何況，你這麼棒，你要相信你有足夠的魅力大到讓他很喜歡你。

K: 戀愛的時候我們都會很迷惘，不知道自己到底遇到的對不對，付出對不對。

K: 可是，我願意相信人心很善良單純的那一面。你真心付出，你用心經營，你就會得到同樣的回應。

K: 欸！你很樂觀的，不是嗎？

C: 是啊。可是有時候還是會懷疑啊。

K: 你相信自己很棒，你就很棒。你相信你有多愛這個人，這個人就有多愛你。你相信愛，愛會讓你變得強壯。

our very first rendezvous

quarter to 9, I arrived early and you were not there yet.

thank god! I still had a moment to prepare myself.

to calm my jumping heart, I dragged my suitcase to the toilet to fresh up.

didn't put on too much makeup cuz it would be too unnatural after a 4.5 hours flight around 9pm.

I picked a good spot where I can observe the whole arrival area from like 20 metres away.

sat down and tried to pose myself like "I am not nervous at all."

I scanned almost every face in the lobby and then there you were. I recognised you the moment you showed up.



you were in a black striped casual jacket and a pair of dark jeans.

looked at the info board, you tried to make sure if my flight landed with no delay.

knowing that I might be somewhere in the lobby, you started to look around.

and there I was, still in the "I am not nervous at all" pose with a big smile on my face.

I tried all my efforts not to look away from your eyes when you walked towards me.

"Hi!" you said to me.



I gave you a big hug and whispered next to your ear: "Hi!" when you squatted down in front of me.

and then allow me to skip all the "how was your flight?" and "are you tired?" stuff cuz I can't really remember due to the tipsy feelings you gave me.

we walked to the parking lot with our hands holding together.

the whole night, we held our hands like we would never be apart.

even when you drove, even when we had drinks with my friends in the amazing sky bar.